Showing posts with label depressed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label depressed. Show all posts

Thursday, 14 May 2015

Freakin days

Halooooooooooooooooooo gokil udah lama bgt ga ngepost disini hahaha! Maaf ya bloggy sekalinya keingetan pas lagi susah doang terus pengen curhat lol

Gue pengen cerita kemarin itu adalah hari hari yang sangat aneh bgt sumpah, unmood, sakit, sgl macem hiks. Gue mulai aja ya, jadi gue itu skrg udah jadi mahasiswa tingkat akhir dan lagi berjuang dg tugas akhir gue yg teramat sangat lovely itu. Kenapa lovely? Karena melatih kesabaran dan keikhlasan gue menjalaninya. Hehe. Coba lo bayangin, gue bikin sistem web based yang bikinnya harus pake framework yg gue bener2 buta samsek. Ya challenging sih cuman ya lo pikir aja sendiri gue ngerjainnya bener2 mepet dan hanya dalam 1,5 bulan istilah kata lah. Iya, gue harus belajar Laravel dg cepat sambil ngedevelop juga. Lo bayangin aja sendiri betapa lovable bgt situasi cem gini hihi <3

Jadi ceritanya 2 minggu belakangan ini minggu paling unmood kalo bisa dibilangmah, bener-bener stress dan bikin kesel terus. Dan gue belajar frameworknya kan sambil dibantu temen gue ya, ya walopun ga bantu2 amat yha cmn gue semacem depend on him gt. Tapi gue dah lama ga get in touch sama dia krn kemarin sempet kejeda sama sidang pkl 2, Nah gue mulai nanya2 kabar dari dia tuh dr jumat sebelumnya kapan ada waktu dll, Cuman gue gak ngeh kalo ternyata dia bilang tgl 12 dia mau ke jogja. Yha. Dan jumat ternyata nyokap gue nginep dikosan adik gue di Bintaro sampe minggu. Gabilang2. Yha benar aja, ga megang duit dong gue.. Mana seharian abis makan2 kan tuh.. Nah sabtunya itu, gue lagi dirumah dalam keadaan panik dan kesel gabisa2 kan apa yg gue mau nih, nah terus tiba-tiba ada angin segar dari kawan gue Sally dan Syifa kalo dia mau ketemu sama Amri, yang mana adalah dewa dalam dunia IT, otomatis gue langsung cus dong ke kampus dg duit hanya 80rb itu sumpah modal nekat gue pengen nangis kalo diinget:"" nah pas gue sampe kampus ternyata gue ketemu Ando dan dia ternyata punya utang sama gue 50rb. Sumpah itu gue bener2 pen nangis rasanya rejeki bgt yawlaaah tobat deh gue mulai skrg harus menghargai uang T^T. Udah tuh makan bakso malang kita sambil nunggu Amri. Eh udah 2 jaman ternyata dia bener2 gada kabar.. Syifa & Sally menyerah dan akhirnya pulang.. Cuman gue tetep tunggu sambil telfonin dan ga diangkat & ujan besar.. Yaudahlah mati gue.. Gue berencana nginep dirumah temen gue tuh, Mana dikampus tinggal gue, ando, dan januari doang kan motor cuma 1. Nah si januari ini tdnya mau nebengin gue cmn gue gaenak sm ando udah gada bipol & bikun kan dia mau naik apa pulangnya-___- Eh bener aja Allah ternyata sayang sama gue, Indra kekampus mau nganterin ke rumah temen gue. Ya ga bete2 amatlah ya sampe minggu pagi ternyata tbtb nyokap nelf  dg nada agak ngebentak"KUNCI MOBIL KAMU BAWA YA MAMA MAU ARISAN" panik dong gue, liat tas dan iya bener sebelum brgkt krn buru2 jd abis manasin mobil gue langsung taro ditas terus berangkat deh-_- gilaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak itu gue diomelin mati2an deh.
Nah seninnya nyokap udah wanti2 bilang pulang cepet kamu, cuman karna sampe sore gue masih ada urusan dikampus dan cowo gue pun jemputnya sore diomelin lagilah gue---_____- udah gitu pulangnya nemenin agus benerin hape dulu kan.. nah ditelf2 terorlah sama nyokap gue.. dan akhirnya sampe rumah, diomelin.

Besoknya gue dirumah seharian sambil ngutak ngatik ta lagi tapi sambil nyambi belajar asp.net sama Pak Astimen via whatsapp. Hectic bgt gak sih? Ribet bgt gak sih? Haha:')
Oiya gue belajar asp.net untuk kepentingan technical test buat kerja disalah satu perusahaan keperluan bayi terkenal-lah, gue udah lolos interview user dan masuk ke technical test dg sistem kontrak 1 tahun di-divisi web developer dg tawaran tunjangan sehargan iphone 5s 32gb sebulan hahaha lumayan kan makanya gue agak semangat ngejar belajar asp.netnya walopun dibarengin sama ngerjain ta:')

Nah, deadlinenya itu rabu utk technical test, sedangkan gue udah ada janji mau belajar ngerjain ta gue sama temen gue hari itu juga... Sumpah gue udah bener2 pasrah detik itu.. Untung hari itu gue ditemenin Agus kan belajarnya jd agak semangat gt tapi agak speechless grgr temen gue yang mau ngajarin itu bilang "gue pusing li sama sistem lo" astaga itu hancur hati gue mana asp.net belum kepegang sama sekali kan.. Tapi sang penyelamat, Pak Astimen tetep bantuin jarak jauh. Walopun ternyata ada mistakes gue gabaca email dg bener dan ada satu requirement toolsnya yg ternyata salah gue pakenya. Yha smg hasilnya yg terbaik ajalah:') udah tuh gue baru sadar gue belum makan kan baru makan nasi goreng dikit pagi terus dimasakin indomie lah sama temen gue.. Gakenyang tapi..
 Nah pas pulang mungkin gue kena angin malem atau gimana gue keringet dingin tuh.. Pas sampe rumah agus bilang "yang jalan-jalan dulu yuk cari makan kek" yaudah kita ke mcd deh tuh makan dan apa yg selalu gue suka adalah Agus myluvs selalu nyisain kulit ayamnya buat gue huhu terharu luvsluvs:") nah abis makan kita ga langsung pulang kan ada bola nonton dulu trs gue pesen kopi.. Nah kena deh tuh asam lambung gue langsung naik. Sampe rumah bener2 gue sakit perut muntah ampe 4x. Dan gue balurin obat gosok gpu ampe setengah botol baru deh tuh agak redaan sakitnya terus ketidur:') yaAllah kenapasi:')

Bismillah semoga kedepannya TA gue lancar dan untuk urusan kerjaannya semoga yg terbaik ajalah yaAllah:') aamin.



Sunday, 21 September 2014

Trendy or Trashy?

Hei,

After several weeks we meet again here..
And i've just uploaded an edited version of photos compilation from our last trip. Here if u'd like to see :




Okay now heres the truth,
i kindda feel tired, tired of everything.
I've seen much, none impressed enough.
How was i supposed to say this?
This feelings of mine that no one can ever get it.
Let me ask
Life, what life for?
Love? No, i never expect much.
Whos next?
People come & go fast.
Whos it again?
Its a cruel cruel world.
None of em is made to be proven that loves worth.
So love? What is it good for?
Money? I've seen em they hard to get but easily to waste.
What again?
Friend? None of em are real.
People. They are fake.
So fucking annoying.
The guys & the girls, the young & the old.
The playboys are suck
If u meet one, bring him to me.
Lets see how strong the game he gets
What? Sex? You sux
Love isnt abt having sex and promises
People. No, i dont bloody hate em
Im just easily get annoyed nowadays
By people who secretly stalk me everyday, thinkin they know me than i am. Fuck u
Get yer own life, make yer own life
You will never understand my life, whats been thru till i can stand here
Yer eyes wont handle it anymore if u know what i've been thru
Sorry to say, i was troubled teen
But i wont ever annoy anybody
Im happy enough for what iam now
You people just go now please don't dictate me for who i am and who i should be
Galaxy, please show me that i am fine here
What? You guys really have no idea how happy i am living my life now.
But instead of having one, i'd rather be the girl no one would ever get closed to.
Yeah i'm close to everyone, but no one can touch me.
No feelings no pain
For my dearest closest friend thank u for anything, the laughs and the blablabla things that only u guys and i know.
For u who think u close to me but u dont, please just because u know me in person it doesnt make u be someone who can judge me a or b
Draw yer own life, i already have one. And im so glad i have it colorful and brighter day by day.
Aint u just get tired of minding anyones business?
Why dont u get one and play it over yer own life?
Social life? You more suck than a pity lil knob head
Sorry for being fat
But i feel fine
Sorry but i want one, that collar neck and thigh gap
But when i tried hard i realized once again what is it good for
Having those bulimia looks and pretend to get a large smile on yer day
Life is abt anybody's saying.
What a pity
I have this overthink-kindda-time when im around people
When i sing & listen to the music i just feel silence can bring the "me"
I draw a lot for gods sake it helps me lot to control my anger
I don't drink but i took shots
No, i didnt do drugs, at all
I dont watch tv, yes tv suck too
I watch youtube everyday
Beatles just inspired my whole life
What?
Coffee i need u in my life
Now baby look, how cud u describe when u just startled when u read what i wrote here
You know nothing abt me
I dont like it when people saying bad abt me thats just so offensive and i can hate u for the rest of my life. Fvck off the shit of u
I laughed hard, i cried harded till the tears wont come out
What? Who u are? Fuck you u fucking fvck
I beg i wont fall in love again for 10 years or even more
No this heart of mine is like frozen
How cud this be
I dont know whats happening there and i wont know
Laziness all day it cures my self
Dear u, you can't ever be me, Live your own life with your fucking way. Its mine
Why cant we be friends and anything in my eyes abt u cud be clearer
If you want to kno abt me, ask me in personal
Don't stalk my socmed and make your own perceptions, baby
Fuck lil-cute-girl who thinks girl-smoker is a whore. Just jump off the hill baby we dont need u
Fuck friends who always talking about their friends. Badmouth. Their mouth smells like a trash and  vagina
Friends? Go fuck yerself
I said bullshit to everything. Ya you're in.
Im wondering whos going to look after me when i'm down
Everyone who says that they love me much, left
Once again, fuck u darling.